The big Spill, a spin-off from Haste Ye Back
by slythadri
Summary: AU, OOC, EWE, Dramione. this is a one-shot that came to me after reading Haste Ye Back, from the fabulous KeepCalmAndExpectoPatronum. Mature content.


AN: this one-shot is a spin-off of **Haste Ye Back,** from the fabulous KeepCalmAndExpectoPatronum. You can find the original story here s/13008236/1/Haste-Ye-Back

Thanks for letting me surf your wave!

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It was a nice May evening in London, and a group of friends was dressed to the nines to attend the Malfoy Spring Gala. Draco Malfoy threw some magnificent events a couple of times a year to keep investors happy. It was not his cup of tea, but his mother was always happy to put a cotillion together, so she was in charge of the party details. This year Lucius Malfoy was notably absent, on Draco's request. His attitude towards his son's budding relationship with Albus Potter was something that Draco still had not forgiven. Scorpius would be attending the party with his boyfriend as well as their friends, Rose Granger-Weasley and her girlfriend, Pippa Goldstein.

Usually, Albus was not a fan of parties, but the Malfoy affairs were a whole other level; the food, the drinks, everything was top notch. They were also mercifully sober affairs, not rowdy college parties. Plus, the fact that Draco invited his son to bring his boyfriend to a social event where the whole 'who's who' of wizarding Britain would be in attendance meant the world to Albus. So he put on his best robes and soldiered up.

The four friends were having a pretty good time when the conversation drifted towards Scorpius' dad.

"You know Scorp, if I was into blokes I would totally make a go for your dad. He's incredibly sexy," said Pippa, looking at Draco from behind her champagne glass.

Scorpius frowned, "That's just disturbing Pippa, he's way too old for you. But I wish someone would give him a go. He's very lonely. I know he still misses Mum terribly, but now he's wasting away. He is too much of a sharp looking bloke to be so alone."

They all nodded in agreement. Albus mused to himself that Draco Malfoy probably did look exactly like Scorpius back in school. In his book, that made him the most gorgeous man in the world. That kind of beauty shouldn't just go to waste.

"Maybe we should try to fix him up," Albus suggested. "Any ideas? Who knows a good candidate that is age appropriate?"

Scorpius sighed, "I know all the available pureblood women of his generation are dying to get their paws on him, but they are usually after the name and the vault. I wish he could find someone who loves him for who he is. Maybe we can find out a nice Hufflepuff lady that likes rich, handsome Slytherins?"

They all chuckled but got on task, scanning the ballroom for possible candidates. It seemed that from every corner of the room women were staring at Draco. There was certainly no shortage of women interested in being the next Mrs. Malfoy, but they needed to come up with a plan to select someone worthy of the task and to weed out all of the gold diggers. But how..?

Scorpius clapped his hands together triumphantly, "I have an idea. Pippa, you know how I always ask you to not get in people's heads? Well, tonight it's for a good cause. Let's see who is checking dad out and you scan them for their intentions. How's that for a plan?"

Rose rolled her eyes but nodded in agreement. She only didn't like the plan because it wasn't her idea. Albus nodded enthusiastically. Pippa smiled mischievously and got ready for the task.

On one corner of the room were a couple of ladies about their mother's ages, chatting with some older women (probably their mothers). They all seemed to steal glances at Draco's direction.

"Let's start with those hens there," said Albus, pointing to the group.

Pippa stared fixedly at the women, concentrating hard on what they were really thinking. She pulled a face and closed her eyes.

"Yuck. They are all literally trying to figure out the size of his vaults," she grimaced, shaking her head. "You would think a great looking guy like your dad would cause women to wonder about the size of something more…personal."

Scorpius groaned and rolled his eyes, "Moving on. How about that side of the room?"

Pippa shook her head with a disappointing look, "Same. Man, this is hard. All that money is a huge problem."

They all turned to look at Draco, throwing him some compassionate looks. He was standing by the bar, taking a break from all the obligatory chat. He seemed indifferent to everything. Yet, his gaze kept drifting towards one side of the room.

"I know my dad," said Scorpius. "He's watching someone. He's really good at faking indifference but I know his face when he's trying to get a read on someone, he does it a lot in business meetings. He's doing it now, but I doubt there are any business opportunities on that side of the room. Come on Pippa, let's do this backward. Is he interested in anyone?"

Pippa sigh, then fixed her stern gaze on Draco Malfoy again, her face screwed up in concentration. His face was a mask of detachment as he continued to glance impassively to one corner of the large ballroom. After a moment, Pippa blinked, looking shocked.

"Wow!" she exclaimed.

"What?" asked the group curiously. Pippa smirked.

"He's checking out someone all right. Merlin, I'm not going to be able to unsee that. Though thinking about it, I could use some pointers. Your dad really knows what he's doing down there."

Scorpius gaped, "Wait, what? My dad is daydreaming about… you know…" he lowered his voice till it was barely above a whisper. "Going down on someone? Like, right now?"

Pippa nodded, "Yup. He's not just going down, he is feasting. Devouring her. If he had a theme song it would be 'Hungry Like the Wolf'. Remember, the old song by Duran Duran?"

Albus laughed out loud "I know the song. That's funny. Who's the victim?"

Pippa hesitated, "Well.."

"Oh come on, who is it?" pushed Albus.

Pippa took a deep breath and looked apologetically at Rose, "It's your mum. Scorp's dad's got it bad for her."

Rose's face screwed up with horror, "You just saw Mr. Malfoy going down on...my mother?"

"Eeeeewww, did you just saw my mother's vagina? What the fuck?"

"I didn't see it, I saw what Mr. Malfoy thinks it looks like," Pippa explained, then added quietly. "And what he wants to do with it..."

Rose covered her ears, "Just stop! I get it, okay?" She took a deep sigh and composed herself before continuing, "So, Mr. Malfoy has the hots for my mum. In all honesty, she could do with getting her leg over. She's not dated anyone since the divorce. So, how do we make this happen?"

They thought for a minute and then Albus smirked. Without warning, he pulled his wand and keeping it low so no one would see when he was doing, he levitated a tray laden with drinks right by Hermione Granger's side. Albus flicked his wand and the tray turned, tipping a mix of firewhisky and red wine down Hermione's dress, soaking her.

Hermione squealed, her eyes wide with shock as the tray clattered to the floor. Before anyone, including Hermione, could react, Draco Malfoy had rushed to her side and grabbed her by the elbow.

"Madam Minister, let me take you somewhere you can clean up," he said quietly, and with that they Disapparated. The four younglings shared a round of high fives.

Meanwhile, Draco Apparated to his private wing of the manor, directly to his suite. He called on his personal elf, "Pooky!"

There was a loud crack and a house elf appeared at his feet.

"You called, Master Malfoy?" she asked in a squeaky voice.

"Pooky, the Minister needs these clothes cleaned immediately," he instructed the elf. "Please take them from the bathroom while she washes off. Thank you."

The elf bowed low and disappeared a moment later with another loud crack. Hermione smiled sheepishly at Draco.

"Thank you Malfoy, that was quick thinking. I didn't have time to get embarrassed."

Draco inclined his head to her, "My pleasure, Madam. There are bathrobes and towels in there next to the shower. Please, feel free to fix yourself up. Pooky will make sure the clothes go to the laundry and will have them ready for you in a few minutes."

Hermione wandered into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. As she shed her sodden clothes they disappeared as soon as she removed them. She jumped in the shower and cleaned herself, unable to suppress the smile teasing the corners of her lips. This had been a strange accident, and there was no way she would ever have imagined a scenario where she would be naked in Draco Malfoy's private rooms. For some reason, that idea was not unpleasant. Not one bit.

Draco in the meantime felt like his stomach was one big knot. He had been fantasizing about going down on Hermione Granger not five minutes ago and now she was naked in his private bathroom. This had to be a sign. There must be something he can do to capitalize on this fortuitous circumstance without coming across as a creep. Think, Draco, think.

Then the unthinkable happened. Draco stared mouth agape as Hermione walked out of the bathroom wearing only his bathrobe, that she had shrunk to fit her. Her hair and makeup were already fixed. She was a vision. He swallowed hard, trying to look calm.

"I'm still a bit rattled with this freakish accident," said Hermione softly. "Pour a lady a drink?"

He smiled and poured two tumblers of firewhisky. They clinked glasses and drank in silence, Draco trying his damnedest not to stare at the beautiful woman beside him. She was right there. If he pulled the tie of that bathrobe she would be completely naked. But he also remembered vividly the last time Hermione Granger had slapped him hard on the face. It may have been years since that incident had occurred, but he was still in no hurry to repeat it. Hermione smiled and took a step closer to him, pressing her body against his own. Draco's heart pounded hard in his chest. Surely he wasn't misreading this situation?

Before he could do anything the clothes appeared again. Draco groaned inside. Hermione gave him a smile, took her dress and walked back into the bathroom. A couple of minutes later she walked out wearing her dress, still unzipped in the back. She stood in front of him and turned around.

"Zip me up please?" she asked silkily.

He grabbed the zipper with shaking hands and slowly started pulling it up. He saw them both reflected in a full-length mirror in front of them. She was looking at him, a seductive smile on her face. Then it hit him. She was a witch. She had a wand. She didn't need him to pull up her zipper. She wanted this moment to happen. He looked at her in the mirror and taking his chance, he began to slowly pull the zipper back down, gauging her reaction. She shivered but didn't stop him. Gaining confidence, he pulled one of the thin dress straps down her shoulder. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as he kissed her shoulder and trailed up towards her neck, then delicately turned her face towards him to kiss her. She slid down the rest of her dress and turned around to wrap her arms around his neck...

Meanwhile, back at the party, the younglings were wondering whether or not their plan had worked. Scorpius knew that his father could be very shy. He hoped he hadn't lost his nerve at the last moment, he may not even have dared to kiss her. He nudged Pippa to get her attention.

"Hey Pippa, can you search a mind that isn't in the room?" he asked curiously. "I want to know if my dad had the balls to do something with this opportunity."

She glowered at him, "I'm not a freaking satellite, Scorp. But I can give it a try, especially if his guard is down."

She closed her eyes for a few seconds, deep in concentration then opened them wide.

"Oh boy," she muttered.

"What?" asked the other three in unison. Pippa blushed.

"Let's just say that now I really do know what your mother looks like down there. Merlin, I need a drink. I'm never spying for you guys again."

They all winced then started laughing. Scorpius grabbed a round of drinks and toasted, "Here's to love."

They all clinked their glasses and declared:

"To love."


End file.
